Emotions can feel all over the place when you’re an entrepreneur. During the Holiday Season, it gets worse. In this episode, I share my learnings, my insights and the tools I use to ride (and thrive) on the emotional rollercoaster as a business owner.
Cue The Holidays! 
For service-based business owners, that means it’s time for the juggle of all juggles.
Without fault, the end of the year spells the confluence of client deadlines, family gatherings, and all the year-end pressures. We like to tell our romantic self it’s a time for baubles, canapes and merry gatherings (which it is!), but it’s important to be honest and also acknowledge the stress, the self-doubt, and the OMG-why-did-I-leave-this-to-the-last-minute panic.
Honestly, life is an emotional rollercoaster as a business owner as it is. But this time of the year, … things are turned up a notch.
Do I have some thoughts about this? You bet I do!
Emotions during this season can feel all over the place. But instead of seeing that as a problem, what if we embraced it as part of the natural balance of life? What if we can find a way to not just survive the holidays but actually thrive?
Absolutely, I have a plan for this. 
The Māori Wisdom of Duality
The inspiration for how I learned to cope with balancing emotions as a business owner lies in my heritage.
See, in Māori culture, duality is everywhere—it’s how the world makes sense.
Concepts like Te Ao me Te Pō (the world of light and the world of darkness) and tapu me noa (sacredness and normalcy) remind us that opposites don’t clash; they complement each other.
Just think about it. Who would know light if not for also experiencing darkness? How can we even experience special or sacred moments unless they are surrounded by the everyday?
Even in relationships, there’s balance. Well, from a cultural perspective, anyway. Men and women bring different yet essential strengths, creating harmony through shared responsibility.
And yes, there is also balance in business life. A win—like landing a dream client—never happens without its challenges, like last-minute changes or unexpected hiccups.
The key to building emotional resilience as a business owner lies in the realisation that this duality isn’t just “out there” in the world; it’s inside us too, especially in our emotions.
The Emotional Rollercoaster Of A Business Owner: The Concept Of 50/50
Just as life is balanced by light and dark, our emotions are made of joy and struggle. It’s the concept of 50/50.
It doesn’t mean we’re failing when we feel negative emotions or that success will make us immune to challenges. Instead, it reminds us that the full spectrum of emotions is part of the human experience. There is no joy without struggle.
Think about a time when you hit a big milestone in your business. 
Maybe you crushed a financial goal or finally launched that long-awaited service. That YES-I-did-it moment felt incredible because it didn’t just land in your lap, because you went through the struggles that came before.
Together, they give our experiences depth.
Thoughts Are The Key To Balancing Emotions In Business
Where am I going with this? How is this insight of 50/50 going to help you in riding the emotional rollercoaster as a business owner?
Here’s the truth: negative emotions aren’t something to “fix.” They’re part of the human experience, just like Te Ao me Te Pō. What happens is a fact, and often, it’s not even within our power to change that fact.
But what we do with it (our thoughts about what happens), that’s something we have control over. Because, ultimately, our emotions don’t come from what’s happening around us—they come from the thoughts we have about what’s happening.
The goal isn’t to feel good all the time (that’s exhausting and unrealistic! Toxic positivity, I’m looking at you.)
Instead, it’s about leaning into the natural flow of emotions, accepting that the negative and the positive are both part of the game. And that it does present us with an opportunity to learn from both the highs and lows.
But ultimately, we get to choose the thoughts that balance our emotions.
Real-Life Examples Of How I Create Emotional Resilience As A Business Owner
Time for some examples of how you can build emotional resilience as a business owner.
Here’s a first:
The Situation: Your business slows down over the holidays.
- Initial Thought: “Ugh, this is a disaster—I’m losing momentum.” The emotion that flows from this thought is Anxiety
. - Alternative Thought: “This is a chance to rest and plan for next year.” The emotion that flows from this thought is Calm
.
Same situation, different emotions. The shift? Your thoughts. 
Or how about this one:
A client emails you at 9 p.m. (ugh) with a “tiny” request that’s actually huge.
- Initial Thought: “This is so unfair. What are they even thinking?” The emotion that flows from this thought is Frustration
. - Alternative Thought: “I’ll handle this now and use it as a lesson to set clearer boundaries.” The emotion that flows from this thought is Empowerment
.
Obviously, it also applies to our personal life. This one might sound familiar.
A relative makes a snarky comment at the family Christmas lunch.
- Initial Thought: “Why am I never good enough?” The emotion that flows from this thought is Sadness
. - Alternative Thought: “That’s their opinion, not my reality.” The emotion that flows from this thought is Confidence
.
See how a simple shift in your thoughts can change everything? It’s not about ignoring the hard stuff—it’s about choosing thoughts that help you balance emotions as a business owner and avoid the rollercoaster that exhausts us.
3 Simple Tools To Start Building Emotional Resilience As A Business Owner
Let’s make this practical! What tools do I use to shift my thoughts and, in doing so, create emotional resilience as a business owner?
Here are some things I have found very useful.
- Journaling Moment
At the end of each day, jot down one strong emotion you felt. Then ask yourself: What thought caused this feeling? Do I want to keep this thought, or could I try a different one? This is a powerful way to spot patterns and start reframing unhelpful thinking. - Reframe Your Reaction
When a negative emotion pops up, pause. Name the thought causing it and ask: “What else could be true?”
For example: “I’m so behind on work,” becomes “I’ve done my best, and I can still make progress tomorrow.” - Mindfulness Break
Feeling overwhelmed? Stop, close your eyes, and take five deep breaths. As you exhale, say to yourself: “I’m not my emotions—I’m the thinker of my thoughts.” This tiny pause can help you reset and approach challenges with a clearer head.
Remember, you don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to feel amazing all the time. Just keep in mind that you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
So, take a deep breath, ride the 50/50 of emotions, and keep choosing thoughts that serve you best. 
Do You Want Some Help With That?
If this episode hit home for you 
and you're keen to grow your emotional resilience while building your service business, let’s chat! Coaching gives you a safe, empowering space to untangle your thoughts, tackle challenges, and find your groove with confidence. This holiday season, why not treat yourself to the support you deserve? Head over to sandrajulian.co/coaching to explore my coaching packages. Honestly, it will be the best gift you give yourself for 2025.
Let’s team up to create a business—and life—that feels 100% you!
